You’re The Reason For the Grease Drops On My Guitar

Since starting this blog over four years ago, I’ve dealt with any number of important topics — space, religion, improv, relationships, etc.

And, of course, from near the beginning, dumb Taylor Swift lyrics.

I mean, Taylor’s talented for what she does and all, but there are sometimes that I just don’t think what she’s saying is what she’s trying to say. And while I’m not like the world’s biggest Taylor Swift fan or anything, it’s kind of hard to avoid hearing her songs, and there are lines that just can’t help eliciting a “huh?”

For example, not long after I started the blog, there was the post about how the guy was Romeo and she was a scarlet letter. Huh? I mean, yay literature and all, but what is that supposed to mean?

And then there was the one where she was talking to a guy on the phone at night, and so he was talking real slow ’cause it’s late and his momma can’t know. Huh? “Slow”? He’s on the telephone, and his mom’s there, but if he talks really slowly she won’t be able to figure out what’s going on? “That sounds like my son talking, but people don’t talk that slow”? Is that really what you’re aiming for?

So I’m in the car the other day, and I’m flipping stations, and here’s Taylor singing about how she knew some guy was trouble when he walked in. Which is fine and all. But then she keeps singing, and she’s talking about how “a new notch in your belt is all I’ll ever be.” Now, I’m familiar with the concept of someone being another notch in a bedpost, but in a belt? Don’t you put another notch in a belt to either let it out or take it in?

So, um, this is a song about how … Taylor Swift caused a guy … to lose weight? Or gain weight, maybe? Huh? Again, is that really the intent here?

“I knew you had burgers when you walked in…”