You’re The Reason For the Grease Drops On My Guitar

Since starting this blog over four years ago, I’ve dealt with any number of important topics — space, religion, improv, relationships, etc.

And, of course, from near the beginning, dumb Taylor Swift lyrics.

I mean, Taylor’s talented for what she does and all, but there are sometimes that I just don’t think what she’s saying is what she’s trying to say. And while I’m not like the world’s biggest Taylor Swift fan or anything, it’s kind of hard to avoid hearing her songs, and there are lines that just can’t help eliciting a “huh?”

For example, not long after I started the blog, there was the post about how the guy was Romeo and she was a scarlet letter. Huh? I mean, yay literature and all, but what is that supposed to mean?

And then there was the one where she was talking to a guy on the phone at night, and so he was talking real slow ’cause it’s late and his momma can’t know. Huh? “Slow”? He’s on the telephone, and his mom’s there, but if he talks really slowly she won’t be able to figure out what’s going on? “That sounds like my son talking, but people don’t talk that slow”? Is that really what you’re aiming for?

So I’m in the car the other day, and I’m flipping stations, and here’s Taylor singing about how she knew some guy was trouble when he walked in. Which is fine and all. But then she keeps singing, and she’s talking about how “a new notch in your belt is all I’ll ever be.” Now, I’m familiar with the concept of someone being another notch in a bedpost, but in a belt? Don’t you put another notch in a belt to either let it out or take it in?

So, um, this is a song about how … Taylor Swift caused a guy … to lose weight? Or gain weight, maybe? Huh? Again, is that really the intent here?

“I knew you had burgers when you walked in…”

Song Challenge Day 2 — My Least Favorite Song

To make the Post A Day 2011 challenge a bit more bearable, I’ve set up a couple of regular features. Saturdays are for reviews (yesterday being an exception) and Sundays are for song lyrics. But I’m out of song lyric ideas, so I wanted a new regular Sunday feature. Keeping the music theme I’ve been using, I’m undertaking the 30 Day Song Challenge as a weekly project.

Week 2 — Your Least Favorite Song

“Through Glass,” Stone Sour

“Three hours is as big as an ear.”

I have no clue what that means.

We were driving back through Mississippi last week, and Finn asked how long it was going to take us to get somewhere, or how long we’d been driving, or something. And the answer was three hours.

To which the seven-year-old replies, “Three hours is as big as an ear.”

Your guess is as good as mine.

Which brings us to Stone Sour’s “Through Glass.”

I dislike this song.

A lot.

I turns out, doing a quick search, this is actually the third time I’ve mocked this song on my blog.

This first time was in a post about Taylor Swift’s “Love Story”:

That scarlet letter bit, for whatever reason, reminds me of one of my other least favorite song lyrics of the last decade, from Stone Sour’s “Through Glass”: “But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home.” You know, there may be a good reason for that; perhaps the same reason that no one ever tells you “solace tastes like distance” or “the past smells like family.”

The second time was in a post about the movie “Up in the Air”:

There was a song a few years ago that used to really bug me, “Through Glass,” by Stone Sour, that contained the line “no one ever tells you that forever feels like home.” Huh? You know, there’s probably a good reason nobody ever tells you that. They also never tell you that tomorrow smells like love or that possibility looks like neighbors. Home is a concept.

Really, that covers my problem with the song. I have nothing new to say.

Other than that, if they ever want another hit, maybe they should call Finn for help.

No one’d ever told me that three hours was as big as an ear before, either.