Tabula Rasa

OK, a bit of honesty here? This is not where I thought I would be today on my birthday a year ago.

But, you know, I’m OK with that.

When you’re my age or older, it’s easy to joke about not knowing what you want to be when you grow up.

A year ago, I’d been working at NASA for eight years. I was comfortable. I had no plan for the future, had no picture of what it looked like to leave. I assumed it would probably happen at some point, but had no idea when or how.

And I was content with that. I’ve always said that God has been far more creative with my career than I ever could have been. I trusted Him that He would take care of it, and was OK with it being none of my business.

This is not what I thought that would look like.

The last four months have brought me back to tabula rasa — the erased slate. I’m starting over in pretty much every way. But in showing me what I’ve lost, God has also been faithful in showing me what I have — years of experience, dependable friends, etc.

And He’s just as sovereign over my career today as He was a year ago. He’s just as creative.

As time goes by, and it is taking time, I’m learning to see the tabula rasa as a blessing rather than a curse. A page to be filled yet again.

What DO I want to be when I grow up?