Classic Lines From Face2Face


For years now, I’ve been saving great lines I’ve loved from shows and rehearsals of the improv troupe I’m part of, Face2Face Improv. For the longest time, I’ve had the idea that I would design a t-shirt with some of the best of them. And now I have. I thought I’d share the results here.

A lot of stuff we do really has to be in context, and, with the nature of improv, if you’ve missed the context once, you’ve missed it forever. But these were some that I thought were amusing even without context. (Or that really make you wonder what the context was.)

(By the way, you should totally come see us. You can check the Web site for our schedule, or you can just come to Sam & Greg’s Pizzeria and Gelateria in downtown Huntsville on any Tuesday night at 7:30 p.m. Tickets for that 40-minute show are only $5, and kids 8 and under are free.)

Here are a few more that I didn’t have room for:

“We at NASA don’t do things that are fun.”

“I don’t know what kind of crazy apocalyptic McDonald’s this is.”

“What kind of an idiot do you think you are?”

“In the latter part of the story, the dwarfs died. The end.”

“Sometimes how it shoulda been is more true than how it was.”

“When the horse blows up and destroys a small city, you have to get back on the horse. THIS is your horse!”

“Does that make you … have emotions?”

“And a lava bidet if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Come back here, expendable crazy man!”

“Well. We’re doing some mighty weird crap.”

“When you use gunpowder, things happen!”

“It’s not fiction once it’s published, it’s news.”

“I’m not dead anymore!”

“It’s not compromised … These are ladies!”

“Either you become an animal … or you get take out by a kangaroo!”


For those that haven’t seen Face2Face before, we’re a comedy improv troupe. We make up scenes on the spot, based on suggestions from the audience. (And for the more timid in the crowd, we don’t bring anyone on stage or force anyone to do anything; you’re more than welcome to just sit back and enjoy the show.) We do a family friendly show of live entertainment. If you’ve ever seen the old ABC show “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” we’re kinda like that. Only better.

I can’t embed them here, but there are videos of some of my work with the troupe on Facebook that should be publicly visible. Ticket information for shows is here.

2 Responses

  1. I’m a fan of “… and of chicken cordon bleu, which art chicken WITH ham!”

  2. Ha! Yeah, I was proud of that scene. :-)

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