Three Days


A year ago today, I returned home from work to find a box waiting for me on my front porch. I took the box, without opening it, and found my best friend at Barnes and Noble. We went out to the parking lot, where I opened the box, and held, for the first time, my first book in my hands. It was a cool moment.

Later that evening, we had dinner at P.F. Chang’s, which served as a nice celebration of the occasion. That, however, was coincidence, I had planned dinner before I had known the book was arriving that day, for an entirely other reason — I didn’t want to be alone that evening.

Two years ago today, I awoke, for the last time, married. Later that day, my divorce became official.

I’ve been dreading today. Dreading the anniversary of that event. Dreading the memories associated with it. Dreading the memories of the anniversary last year, of my best friend who went on to become my fiancée before calling off the engagement six months ago. The idea of everything that’s happened in the last two years, or in the last year, is simply insane.

I’d also thought about what I would write about today. When I wrote Tuesday that I was going to blog about watching Love Happens, I planned to tie it in with thoughts on today. I had thought maybe I would have all sorts of wisdom like I did last year. But I was wiser a year ago. And that’s a good thing.

I have only three small nuggets of wisdom this year, and that’s stretching it. I wrote last year about my senior yearbook quote, and how it seemed particularly appropriate for that time: “And what is writ, is writ. Would that it were worthier.”

In the intervening year, I’ve found a longer version of the quote: “And what is writ, is writ — Would it were worthier! But I am not now that which I have been.” And that’s the trick, isn’t it?

Second is that, the significance of today, is that it’s just a day. The irony is, two years ago, I didn’t even know I was divorced, and wouldn’t find out until nine days later. It was just another day. As is today. I don’t know what today holds, but will find out. And wake tomorrow 24 hours older than I was a day earlier.

And, finally, if there’s one lesson I can take away from the last two October 15ths, it’s almost certainly this —

This too shall pass.

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